Vivacity Health
Vivacity Health
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5. Self-esteem and assertiveness

Why do people sometimes say ‘yes’ when they mean ‘no’?

Or fail to delegate when they know they should. Or reach for alcohol or fatty foods when a problem threatens to overwhelm them? This is likely to be because they doubt their ability to do something different or cope with whatever is going on around them.

The key to confident, positive employees is self-esteem and assertiveness. This is what our workshop examines. We show how repetitive negative behaviours lead people to make unhealthy, even damaging choices. Things like over-eating, over-drinking or taking on everyone else’s problems typify the inability to assert one’s authority.

Using the concept of ‘Passive Behaviourswe demonstrate how information relevant to solving a problem can easily be ignored. We also use Psychiatrist Dr Eric Berne’s theory of ‘Life Positionsto explore the concept of ‘OK-ness’ – how to ask for one’s needs to be met and say no to others.

Berne determined there are four life positions, each with profound implications for the way individuals behave and make life choices:

  1. ‘I'm OK and you are OK’ - the healthiest position about life;
  2. ‘I'm OK and you are not OK’ - usually not healthy.
  3. ‘I'm not OK and you are OK’ - unconscious acceptance of abuse and belief that it’s OK.
  4. ‘I'm not OK and you are not OK’ - the worst position to be in; a hopeless position.

Study of all the above can impact your staff significantly.

Passive behaviours

Passive behaviours are non-problem solving ways we use to release emotional tension and distress when we find ourselves faced with a problem or situation that we cannot solve.

Life Positions

Life Positions: This is when we use our basic beliefs about the world, others and ourselves to justify our behaviours and choices.


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